Unanchored

"This year, the Emerson Program selections committee was faced with the unenviable task of selecting semi-finalists from a large pool of outstanding applicants for the 17^th class of Emerson National Hunger Fellows. In fact, this year we received a record number of applications..."

You know a letter that starts like that can't be good. I didn't get the fellowship. Well really, I didn't even get an interview. I was sort of bracing myself anyway, because the phone interviews start next Wednesday-- so I felt like they would have told me already if I had needed to schedule one.

I feel a little unanchored because I'm not quite sure how I feel about it yet. I didn't have much time to process it the first time because I was just skimming emails on my way out the door. I'm still deciding if the lack of strong reaction is because it hasn't hit me yet or if, on some level, I'm relieved. Maybe a little of both.

On the upside, I guess this helps me narrow my focus a (very) little bit for post-graduation plans. On to the next thing, I suppose.

You know, I like to have one hand on the next thing before I let go of what I've got, but sometimes that doesn't work. I went rock climbing tonight, and the top of my last climb was hard-- there were a lot of tiny rocks, kind of far apart (at least for my arms). I was so close though! Finally I decided that I just needed to kind of jump up to the last handhold-- and it worked.

So I guess it's time to get ready to jump... Not sure to where yet. :)