It's been a rough couple of months with my workouts. I usually don't stress about it (or write about it), because every day is a new day and a new chance to take care of my body. But today, when I was a little sore from tae-bo and a few burpees last night, I cried a little bit inside. Actually, a lot. I know I'll probably never again be able to lift like I did in high school, and that's okay. But I shouldn't have been sore from what I did. And I was even more sad when I realized that walking now makes up a good portion of my physical activity-- I know things change with "age" and life demands, but I was an Exercise Science major. As in, I majored in "Loving to Move Intensely." On top of that, I have just spent another two years thinking about all the possible barriers to healthy lifestyle. FALLEN. And now I actually understand what people mean when they say working out is like a chore. It's so hard to motivate yourself when you remember how you felt once upon a time and now feel like a complete pansy. And it makes me ANGRY that something I love so much is suddenly not so lovable. Or rather, I'm upset that I've let my life disintegrate into something that could even allow this to occur. On the upside, it's not permanent. But now you see why I want to be so careful about my next move-- I'm constructing a lot more than a career, here.
On the upside, I got 100% on my final paper in Nutritional Epidemiology! This may sound like a minimal feat, but I am really proud of those 20 pages, and getting a perfect score from my professor was no cake walk. (I should know, since she was also my thesis reader and has been ripping my work apart weekly for the last several months.) I feel like I did what I should have been doing the entire last two years: Developing a deep and thorough grasp on the current evidence (and its limitations) for a topic so that I feel confident giving an authoritative opinion. A PhD might not be so bad... I have been so grateful for this awesome professor, and this class was a good one to end on.
Another great thing that happened today was recovering some pictures that I thought might be lost forever. I co-hosted a bridal shower for a friend a few weeks ago and took a ton of pictures... and then couldn't find them when I hooked my camera to my computer. This made me completely nauseous, but tonight we were able to recover them, which is one more thing I can safely cross off of my May list. :) Plus, we're adorable.
Ashley, the bride-to-be.
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